It's not that I refuse to love, but that I haven't found the reason to love. I've been told, a few too many times to simply step back into real life. It's more on the lines of 'Zoe, stop fantasizing, watching dramas, reading fanfics and get a life.' People may find it stupid, but I think I know a lot more after really immersing myself into the countless stories that I wish would be my fate.

It's surprising, how it's possible to see everything clearly when infatuation isn't in the way. Once you can gather your thoughts straight, you can think properly and realise everything isn't as it seems, isn't as you thought it was.
You will either realise, and fall further, knowing that everything that left you is everything that you need. Or you will rise higher, knowing that everything that left you was for the better, and you can move on to what is more important.

It's not that I refuse to love, but that I haven't found the reason to love. The reason to love, is the person that will love me unconditionally, everything that I want, he'll give. Everything that I need, he'll give. Everything that I do, he'll support. He'll be on my side, unconditionally. Nothing will stop him from staying with me, although there might be times when arguments take over, and everything falls apart. He'll leave, but he will always, always come back.

There are different types of love, some which break easily because you give up, some which are strong because you hold on tight enough and some which go beyond anything in the world. Love isn't just an emotion, the whole process of loving someone must include physical and verbal affection. If you can't get that from someone, then really...it isn't worth it.

It's not that I refuse to love, but that I haven't found the reason to love. When that one person comes into your life, who changes everything then straight away, the first thing you should know is that it won't be easy. You have to be ready for your life to tie up in knots, and once you untie one, another will start to form, you have to be fast to deal with it, so you can finally untie all knots and have a smooth outcome.

Nothing that you want enough, will be easy. But in the end, it'll be worth it. As everyone does, you'll have to face a problem in your life, a problem that stops you from getting where you want, an obstacle to your dreamed of perfect ending. You know you have two choices- hold on, and face everything that will lead you to breaking, or give up, and live your live without that one that you have always wanted.

It's not that I refuse to love, but that I haven't found the reason to love. Once you step foot into this world, your only way out was death. Your only ending is death. Once you took your first breath in this air, your only way to lose the attachment with it was death. Your only ending is death. If the outcome, no matter what happens, would always be the same...why spend your life in misery? why spend your life in guilt? why spend your life in regret?

If you ever find a person who could love you unconditionally, find a person that would change your world, and give you theirs, then you hold on to it. You hold on to it with everything you have. You forget the second choice of giving up, and you hold on. You hold on and face everything that will lead you to breaking, because in the end, there's only death. Why would you fear how you would be if your once in a lifetime love left you after you gave them your all if you would just regret that you never gave them your all in the first place. You forget the fear, forget the guilt, forget the regret. And you live knowing that you deserve to be happy, you don't deserve to feel the negative emotions that reside within you.

It's not that I refuse to love, but that I haven't found the reason to love. Don't listen to anything that tries to scare you, because it's always possible to face it.

“Even a chance at being miserable for the years to come if he leaves you?”
“Wouldn’t you be miserable if you never went back to him?”

Exactly that. Misery and regret will haunt you if you don't take the chance, and take in the one love that changed your life, the one love that loves you unconditionally, the one love that is once in a lifetime. Instead, you go with them, and you do everything in your power to stay with them, to run with them, to love with them because in the end, you'll at least be able to smile, knowing that if they leave you, you had your time with them, and you gave them your all.

Labels: love, thoughts